Dear Annie: I’ve been with my partner for over 15 years and have helped him build his business from the ground up. I handle everything -- paying bills, filing taxes, ordering supplies and assisting customers -- often working 70-hour weeks. Despite my dedication, he once accused me of stealing. I proved my innocence, yet he still makes comments that suggest he doesn’t trust me.
When he planned to move out (with his mother’s help), I filed for divorce. But after speaking to an attorney and realizing he wouldn’t receive spousal support, he stayed. We now have separate finances, but he still refuses to contribute fairly to household expenses. Over the years, he’s moved out multiple times, often staying with female friends who “needed help.”
Most recently, after his mother’s passing, we received a sympathy card with $1,500. I suggested a scholarship in her name, but he refused. Later, while discussing her will, he accused me of only caring about money -- something he often throws at me whenever finances come up.
I earn a good living and don’t need his financial help, but I don’t think he should live rent-free. How do I make him see that I’m not “money-hungry” and that his accusations are deeply hurtful? -- Glutton for Punishment
Dear Glutton for Punishment: Another person’s opinion about you is none of your business. He has come to his own conclusions. All you can do is get clear about your intentions regarding money. He is probably really hurting right now because he lost his mother. Try to be sensitive to that fact.
Losing a parent can turn someone’s world upside down, and grief often affects how people view situations and interact with others. During this difficult time, the best approach is to lead with compassion. Give him space to process his loss while remaining kind and understanding in your interactions. If there are financial matters to discuss, consider waiting until he’s had more time to grieve, or approach the topic with extra sensitivity.

News Source : https://www.oregonlive.com/advice/2025/02/dear-annie-husband-accuses-me-of-being-money-hungry-but-only-stays-because-i-pay-the-bills.html