DEAR ABBY: I recently ended an 18-year marriage that should have ended many years earlier. While I was deciding to leave, I met the most wonderful man, “Winston.” He treats me like a queen -- the polar opposite of my former husband.
My former home was sold during divorce proceedings, and I took Winston up on his offer to move into an empty trailer on his property. We get along so well, and I’m sorry we didn’t meet years ago and have a life together.
Winston is my best friend. He has been nothing but respectful since our meeting a year ago. We didn’t take our relationship to the next level until my divorce was final six weeks ago. I have been in the trailer for three months now, and I’m very happy. He lives next door in a house with his sister. Neither she nor he has ever married.
We have already talked about marriage. He would like us to be married in around six months. I was thinking of getting ENGAGED in six months, simply because I need time to breathe and I’ve gone through a lot with moving, changing my name, changing my address, etc. This has now caused a rift in our relationship.
I told Winston I DO want to get married, but I haven’t been divorced even two months yet. I need more time to adjust to such a different, more normal, relationship. Previously, he told me “no pressure,” and he knows I need time, so I was kind of floored when he expressed wanting to get MARRIED in six months.
I don’t think I’m being unreasonable, do you? What should my next step be? I do want a life with him, but I’m just not ready so soon. -- PAUSING TO BREATHE IN THE EAST
DEAR PAUSING: You are fresh out of an unhappy marriage. You met Winston on the rebound. You DO need time to recover and establish who you are before committing to another marriage. You stated that after you told Winston you needed to take your time, it created a “rift.” That is a big red flag, and it does not bode well for what a marriage with him would be like.
People are advised to make no important decisions for one YEAR after a traumatic event. I concur. Get to know Winston AND HIS SISTER a lot better before walking to the altar. I’m also advising you to find a place other than his trailer to live so you can learn to be independent again.

News Source : https://www.oregonlive.com/advice/2024/12/dear-abby-divorcees-new-beau-is-pushing-to-get-married-sooner-rather-than-later.html