Dear Annie: I enjoy your column, and I appreciate your perspective. I have a family member whom I have loved dearly and shared family tragedies with.
Over the years, he has become a severe alcoholic. I have had to create boundaries, namely not answering rambling phone conversations. I respond to long voice messages with texts. I express my love and give encouragement, but I do not want to be stuck on the phone; it goes nowhere and is forgotten.
He doesn’t live nearby, and we have not visited each other often. The last visit was five years ago; he came to our home, and because he needed a drink at breakfast, he left early.
I have recently found out he is very ill with cancer. I am torn about opening up a phone dialogue that might return to the past patterns of many drunken calls. I have loving memories of our younger years and our closeness, and how we got through tough times in those days. I know I am letting them down. I plan to write a letter, but I feel guilty keeping my boundary regarding phone conversations. Any thoughts or suggestions? I do not want any regrets. -- No Regrets

News Source : https://www.oregonlive.com/advice/2024/09/dear-annie-readers-avoid-phone-calls-from-longwinded-relatives-friends.html